December 2025 Newsletter

heartquest8
Jan 10
15 min read

December 2025 Newsletter

To our HeartQuest Community:Bill Berry, our inspiration for this work, is declining in health. He asked all of us to send him an email describing how he has impacted our lives. You can send the email to his son,( DonaldBerry@gmail.com )I'm sure he would deeply appreciate it.Thank you

Grief Drop-ins Available This Month!

*Anyone affected by the fires can attend for free, please get the word out to anyone who was affected

Table Of Contents

- President's Vision- Offerings (NEW Offering!)- Monthly Reflection- Praises & Prayers- Birthdays, Anniversaries & Special Celebrations

- What To Read Or Watch This Month

We look forward to seeing you and those you have invited in one of our upcoming workshops and events soon! Let us know what workshops you would like to attend, what movie or book recommendations you would like to share, and what topics you would like to hear more about by sending :

an email to HeartQuest@HeartQuestMinistries.org or
a post on our FB page at www.facebook.com//HeartQuestMinistries/

President's VisionMerry Christmas to All!

As we head into the end of the year (hard to believe!), I want to take some time to reflect on my life over the last several months. I've have a major life change (retirement), we are embarking on some remodeling in and out of the house, my granddaughter turned 5 and started Kindergarten. I have so

much to be thankful for. I think sometimes I forget my past hardships, but it's important to remember so that I don't take my blessings for granted. The biggest blessing of all is that God created us and loves us so much. I am trying to be still and lean into His love.

Madam PresidentJulie Tilney-Varden

"Love Never Fails"

A generous person will prosper;whoever refreshes otherswill be refreshed.

~ Proverbs 11:15

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At a Glance — HeartQuest Offerings this Month

We currently have offerings EVERY Monday and Tuesday evenings on an ongoing basis.

Monday Drop-In Groups — Varying Each WeekTime is always:

Pacific - 7pm - 8:30pm
Eastern - 10pm - 11:30pm

- First Monday — Separate Men's and Women's Groups - Second Monday — No class, drop by on Tuesday instead!- Third Monday — Separate Men's and Women's Groups- Fourth Monday — No class, drop by on Tuesday instead!

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Grief WorkshopHoliday Drop Ins!

Grief Recovery Workshop

Grief Recovery Drop-inhappening thru the holidays

Join us Tuesday

Throughout the year we alternate between the structured 8 week Grief Recovery Workshop and our more informal Grief Relief Drop-Ins.TIME is ALWAYS

Pacific — 6 pm - 7:30 (ish) pm
Eastern — 9 pm - 10:30 (ish) pm

Join us for our Grief Recovery Workshop!

Email us to enroll and get prepared, we are starting our brand new session of the Grief Recovery Workshop! Email us or message us on Facebook to enroll and get the necessary materials.

an email to HeartQuest@HeartQuestMinistries.org or
a post on our FB page at www.facebook.com//HeartQuestMinistries/

Even though I walk through the darkest valley,I will fear no evil, for you are with me;your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

- Psalm 23:4

Help Support our Programs:

On PayPal, search for "HeartQuest Ministries" or go directly via https://paypal.me/HQMinistries

The Path To Manhood(Level 1) Weekend

Are you looking for more in your life?Maybe there’s something missing.Maybe there are life skills around connection or emotion you weren’t taught and you see are getting in your way.Maybe you’re looking for a safe place to grieve, be honest about your imperfection, or just be real without being rejected.Maybe you are looking for a community of brothers who are authentic and carry each others’ burdens.Maybe you are just looking to go deeper in your spiritual walk and your relationships with yourself and others.The Path of Manhood weekend may be what you are looking for.We are men with many different backgrounds who found ourselves looking for something more and discovered how much authenticity, emotion, and healing God has designed us for during workshops designed and run by Bill Berry until his health prevented him from running more workshops.Now, with Bill’s blessing and permission, we are resurrecting Bill Berry’s Level 1 weekend as the Path of Manhood weekend.This weekend training which allows men to:● Explore the story of their lives● Learn effective relationship and communication skills● Connect with their emotions● Safely deal with their wounds● Discover new insights into Scripture and the meaning of Jesus’ death and resurrection● Make new, deep friendships with other Christian men that can last a lifetime.

Our inaugural re-launch weekend is January 2-4 in Mentone, California.

The cost to attend is $440 (early bird discount to $390 until December 27).Register here: https://forms.gle/nb6VHoQrP3h6mfdi9For questions, call Christopher O’Dell at (562) 822-9437.

Link for RegistrationThe Path Of Manhood Level 1 Weekend https://forms.gle/nb6VHoQrP3h6mfdi9

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November Reflections"What the Grinch Teaches Us Aboutthe Shadow, the Soul,and God’s Transforming Light"—

I know this topic makes people nervous. When we talk about Christmas, we expect joy, generosity, peace, and warm memories. But the truth is: many hearts carry something else entirely.Hatred. Resentment. Avoidance. Tightness. Discomfort. Pain.

In the season that proclaims “Peace on earth,” many people feel anything but peace.

That’s why I believe hatred is precisely the emotion we need to talk about this December. Not because it is “bad,” but because, as Karla McLaren teaches, hatred is “The Profound Mirror.” It is one of the most spiritually revealing, psychologically honest, and soul-awakening emotions we have — when we honor it instead of expressing or repressing it.

And there is no better Christmas teacher for this truth than The Grinch.

The Grinch: A Christmas Parable About Hatred, Shadow, and Redemption

The Grinch is not simply a grumpy creature who dislikes noise.He is the perfect example of what happens when:

a child is rejected,
a heart is shamed,
a soul is wounded,
and the wounds are never tended to.

The Grinch hates Christmas with every cell of his tiny, aching heart.He hates:

the Who’s loud singing (which he perceives as fake),
their joy (which he believes excludes him),
their feasts (to which he is never invited),
and the emotional brightness he cannot access inside himself.

So he does what all people with unprocessed hatred eventually do:He tries to destroy the thing that triggers him.

He listens to his hatred, but not to its message — only to its impulse.He believes that if he steals their presents and ornaments and food,he can make the Whos feel as empty as he does.

He wants his misery echoed.

Yet when he hears them singing — with nothing but each other —hatred cracks open into revelation.He discovers that joy did not come from stuff.It came from love, community, and connection —the very things his wounded heart had been starving for.

And suddenly, as Dr. Seuss says,“his heart grew three sizes that day.”

That’s exactly what Karla McLaren means when she says hatred is a mirror —it reveals what is lost, what is buried, what is hurting,and what is longing to come back home within you.

What Hatred Really Means (and Why It Arises)

McLaren teaches that hatred is not about the person you’re targeting.It’s about the part of yourself you have disowned.

Hatred flares up when:

your boundaries have been devastated,
your equilibrium is shattered,
something in you falls into the shadow,
and your soul tries to get your attention.

Hatred is laser-focused.It gives you pinpoint clarity about “what you cannot tolerate.”But the hidden truth is:what you cannot tolerate in others is something unintegrated in yourself.

This is why hatred connects you to your “hate partner,”even though you want to avoid or destroy them.You are bonded through the shadow, not the surface conflict.

When we do not honor hatred —when we express it outward or repress it inward —it becomes destructive:

attacks on others,
self-hatred,
projection,
judgment,
bitterness,
or obsession.

These are the things we see in the media, in families, in politics — everywhere.

But if we honor hatred properly —by turning inward, as McLaren teaches —it becomes a source of profound revelation.

The Practice: Receiving the Message of Hatred Without Hurting Anyone

Honoring hatred does not mean feeding it.

It means:

pausing,
breathing,
noticing the flare of intensity,
and using that clarity to retrieve what you have lost.

McLaren says the process involves:

Describing the faults you perceive in the person you hate.
Recognizing that these traits reflect your lost shadow material.
Saying hello to the parts of yourself you disowned.
Pouring your hatred into your boundary rather than onto people.
Destroying the “contracts” (false beliefs) attached to these traits.
Restoring your psyche to wholeness.

Hatred’s flame rebuilds what devastation tore down.It brings equilibrium back.It reveals astonishing truths.It is the emotion that says:

“Here is where I have lost my way.Here is what I cannot live yet.Here is the part of me that wants to return to the light.”

And in that moment, hatred becomes sacred.

A Christian Lens: Light in the Darkness

This is deeply Christian.

Jesus said, “The truth will set you free.”Hatred shows us the truth of our wounds.

Jesus brought light into the darkness.Hatred shines a flashlight into our own shadows.

The Incarnation is God entering the broken places.Honoring hatred is you entering the broken places within yourselfso healing can begin.

The Grinch’s moment on the mountain is a Christmas conversion story —not because he suddenly “got over” hatred,but because he understood what it was pointing toward.

His hatred revealed his longing.His longing revealed his wound.His wound revealed his need for connection.And connection healed what hatred uncovered.

That is Advent.That is shadow work.That is Christianity at its most honest.

A Closing Word

If any of you feel hatred rising this season —toward family, toward the world, toward yourself —you are not broken.You are not in sin.You are not failing Christmas.

You are being shown a sacred message from your soul.

And if you’d like the detailed practice for working with hatredin a way that honors God, honors yourself,and does not harm anyone —please message a HeartQuest leader or myself.We will share the steps from the book privatelyso they remain in the hands of those who truly want healing,not expression or repression.

May this Christmas be the yearyou finally understand the message your hatred has been carrying.May this be the year your heart grows three sizes too.

Merry Christmas, and may the Light of Christreach even the deepest shadows of your beautiful soul.

With love,Rosemary Jones

IF YOU ARE GRIEVING or PANICKING AND NEED SUPPORT, PLEASE REACH OUT. Visit griefshare.org or call 1-800-273-TALK for confidential support. You can also reach out to the leaders of HeartQuest to request emotional support as well.

Written by Rosemary Rieger, edited by ChatGPT, inspired by Karla McLaren’s Language of Emotions (Chapter on Grief)

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Prayers and Praises

Be rejoicing in hope, patient in tribulation, and continuing steadfastly in prayer

~ Romans 12:12

December PraisesFrom HeartQuest to God

🌙 God of Quiet Nights,Thank You for December’s cool, crisp evenings, when the moonlight glints off bare trees and the world slows down. Thank You for the hush that makes space for reflection, the warmth of blankets and mugs, and the soft comfort of voices who care even from afar. In this season of shadow and stillness, remind us that Your goodness glimmers like candlelight, steady and faithful.

🧡 Jesus, Keeper of Gentle Courage,The world feels heavy sometimes—headlines echo, hearts ache, and days shorten into darkness. Yet here we are—still tender, still loving, still showing up. Teach us to honor our softness as strength, to see that every small act of care, every shared smile or quiet word, is a spark of light piercing the dark.

🍂 We praise You for the sacred ordinary,For late-season harvests that nourish, for fires lit against the chill, for tables set for one more, for neighbors extending hands and hearts. Even in the shadows, goodness is alive. Let us walk among it, bringing warmth and hope wherever we go.

🕯 Holy Spirit, whisper within us,Guide us to the corners of our hearts where honesty, patience, and grace take root. Help us focus on what we can tend, what we can nurture, and what we can forgive. Guard us from despair over the things beyond our reach, and remind us that Your light begins inside, flickering, steady, alive.

✨ Lord, make this month a time of remembering,Of storms weathered, of moments survived, of miracles quieted in ordinary days. Give us eyes to see the beauty that lingers even in hardship, to count the small victories, and to hold our memories and hopes gently, like firelight warming our hands.

🕊 Christ, enfold us in gratitude and peace,As families gather for holiday meals, as communities honor one another, as hearts reach toward each other in kindness and hope, let our words be soft, our hearts generous, and our presence steady. May we move through this season aware of Your love—the candle in our window, the moon that lights our path, the quiet in the night that says: You are never alone.

Amen.

December PrayersFrom HeartQuest to God

🕊 God of Candlelit Evenings,December invites us to slow, to breathe, to notice the quiet miracles around us. When the world hums with haste, conflict, and worry, remind us to see what endures: neighbors sharing warmth, friends sending unexpected kindness, strangers lending a hand. There is still goodness. There is still hope. Open our eyes to it, even in the dark.

❄️ Jesus, Keeper of the Silent Nights,This season brings both gathering and solitude. Some of us sit at bustling tables, others in empty rooms. Some hearts ache with absence, some brim with anticipation. Be near to those who feel unseen, forgotten, or alone. Whisper in the quiet corners of our hearts: You are loved. You are wanted. You belong.

🔥 Holy Spirit, Warmth Within the Chill,We grow weary of holding masks. Some of us carry too much, some feel ashamed of struggle. Breathe courage into us—to ask for help, to speak honestly, to rest without guilt, to honor the sacredness of our own souls. Teach us self-compassion, for You never asked us to earn love.

🌾 God of Waiting and Wonder,Some of us see progress and light. Others see only frost and bare branches. Remind us that roots are growing unseen, that answers unfold in Your timing, not ours. Heal the belief that we are “behind.” Protect our hearts from impatience, and show us that Your timing is always wise and loving.

🕊 Jesus, Gentle in Family and Friendship,Holiday gatherings can hold both joy and old shadows. Words that hurt, memories that ache, patterns that persist—guide us in discernment. When to speak, when to release, when to love from afar. Let gratitude be honest, boundaries be peaceful, and our spirits be free from guilt or bitterness.

🌙 God of Hope Rekindled,We confess our quiet fears:What if nothing changes?What if joy is fleeting?What if we are too broken to start again?Hold our trembling hearts. Give us a spark—small enough to carry, bright enough to remind us that darkness never has the final word.

🕯 Light That Endures Through Winter,When the world feels fractured, let us be steady lights. When hearts are divided, let us be bridges. When cruelty headlines the news, let us make compassion louder—not by force, but by presence. Let us shine quietly, persistently, steadily.

💛 Beloved Presence,Anchor us this month. Teach us gratitude rooted in truth, joy that coexists with healing, courage that acts with gentleness. Show us what we can change—our words, our boundaries, our hearts—and help us trust You with what we cannot. You are here. Even now. Even in the cold and darkness.

Amen.

"Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; His love endures forever." —Psalm 136:1

December Celebrations of Our Community

From HeartQuest with Love

❄️ As winter settles in and candlelight flickers through our windows, December invites us to slow down and notice what truly endures—faith, kindness, community, and the warmth of shared hearts. Every birthday, every holiday, every remembrance is a sacred ember in the hearth of HeartQuest. Together, we shine brighter than we could alone.

This month, we celebrate beloved members of our HeartQuest family:

🎂 Happy Birthday to Bill – December 3rdBill, we’re grateful for your kindness and the humor you bring into every space. May God bless you with warmth, laughter, and moments of wonder that remind you how valued you are no matter where this blessing finds you. Love does not end—it only changes form, and it continues to shine through those who carry it forward.

🎂 Happy Birthday to Maryanne – December 4thMaryanne, your compassion and grace inspire those around you. May your birthday be filled with love that lingers like candlelight—steady, comforting, and full of hope.

🎂 Happy Birthday to Marisa – December 7thMarissa, your creativity and courage reflect the heart of God. We pray your year ahead is brimming with inspiration, peace, and the joy of being surrounded by those who love you.

🎂 Happy Birthday to Anita – December 10thAnita, your gentle strength and faith-filled presence lift others in quiet, powerful ways. May this birthday remind you that your heart is a gift and your story a blessing.

🎂 Happy Birthday to Bob (Our long time Vice-President/President!)– December 29thBob, as the year draws to a close, we celebrate the light you bring to every season. May your birthday be a reflection of all the joy, laughter, and goodness you’ve shared with others.

🎄 December Holidays & Holy Days of Reflection

✨ Christmas – December 25A day of wonder and renewal—the moment when heaven touched earth through the birth of Christ. May this Christmas remind us that even the smallest light can transform the darkest night, and love remains the greatest miracle of all.

🕯 Saint Lucy’s Day – December 13Honoring the bringer of light in winter’s deepest dark, Saint Lucy’s Day calls us to be bearers of hope. Let us remember that faith often begins as a single flame—quiet, persistent, and radiant in its simplicity.

🕎 Hanukkah – December 25 to January 2A celebration of courage, faith, and miraculous endurance. As the menorah burns bright through eight sacred nights, may we all be reminded that divine provision never fails, even when resources seem small.

🖤 Kwanzaa – December 26 to January 1A week honoring unity, creativity, purpose, and community. Kwanzaa invites us to celebrate shared humanity and the strength that rises from working and dreaming together.

🇺🇸 Pearl Harbor Remembrance Day – December 7We pause in gratitude and reverence for those who served, sacrificed, and stood for freedom. May their courage continue to inspire peace, resilience, and the pursuit of understanding across all nations.

💙 Giving Tuesday – December 3A modern movement rooted in ancient wisdom: that generosity multiplies light. Whether through time, kindness, or resources, giving reminds us that joy expands when shared.

🎆 New Year’s Eve – December 31As the final day of the year unfolds, we look back in gratitude and forward in hope. May this turning of the calendar remind us that God’s mercies are new every morning, and the story is still being written with love.

🙏 As December unfolds, may we remember that light still shines, kindness still matters, and hope still grows.We celebrate with you, give thanks with you, and pray for each of you with joy. May God bless our HeartQuest family with peace, warmth, and unwavering love as we step together into a new year.

If you have a celebration, anniversary, or remembrance you’d like us to honor, please email us or send a message on our Facebook page.We are so blessed to call you family. ❤️

The HeartQuest community believes in supporting ALL in their personal path. Share your prayer requests, express your praises, inform us of your special days and send a heartwarming blast of love directly and through God:

Email HeartQuest@HeartQuestMinistries.org
Post on our FB page at www.facebook.com//HeartQuestMinistries/

Is there anyone among you suffering? Let him pray.Is anyone cheerful? Let him sing praise.

James 5:13

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Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God's grace in its various forms

~ 1 Peter 4:10

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What HeartQuest Recommends this MonthThe Little Book Of The Human ShadowBy Robert Bly Recommended by Rosemary Jones

Robert Bly’s The Little Book of the Human Shadow is a brief, powerful look at the parts of ourselves we hide — the anger, need, resentment, and painful emotions we pretend aren’t there. In a way that pairs beautifully with Christian healing, Bly shows that anything we push into the “shadow” doesn’t go away; it simply waits in the dark until we have the courage to bring

it into the light of Christ. For anyone wrestling with hatred this season — toward others, toward themselves, or toward old wounds — this book offers a simple, honest path toward wholeness and truth.

About the Author:Bly himself wasn’t writing from a strictly Christian lens, but his work carries a deeply biblical honesty: the invitation to say, “Search me, O God,” and actually mean it. He helps readers understand why they react the way they do and how buried parts of the heart can be brought back into God’s healing. It’s short enough to read in an hour, but it stays with you in the best way — a small companion for anyone wanting to face their inner life with courage, clarity, and grace.

✨ “In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.”

— Proverbs 16:9

Contact :If you have any questions, concerns, or suggestions, please reach out via email or Facebook

We look forward to seeing you and those you have invited in one of our upcoming workshops and events soon !!Let us know what workshops you would like to attend, what movie or book recommendations you would like to share, and what topics you would like to hear more about by sending :